I make games and music sometimes
Pfp by @MZZA, banner by @bonumrex
Age 26, Male
Creator of things
Minnesota
Joined on 3/20/13
Posted by larrynachos - January 1st, 2024
I tried to write a big ol' reflection post but tbh I just ended up ruminating, this year was kinda crappy IRL and as a result I wasn't actively making stuff as much as I want to (or feel like I should want to). But I've got my eye on the horizon! 2024 is gonna be a banger of a year.
Speaking of bangers, just finished this tonight. Have a listen <3
Happy new year fellas! Hope you've had a great holiday season :3 What've yall got going on this year? Any new resolutions or projects?
happy new year!! nice job with the song
Happy New Year again man! :) Banger as always with the audio too!
Hoping to lose some ~10kg for starters, may be a year long goal... and get stuff done! Grind on! Get moving! Go forth! Onwards to the yonder without too many a stall or pessimistic ponder!
You? Any resolutions?
Thanks cd! Happy new year to you too!
10kg seems pretty attainable! Do you exercise much? What kind of changes are you thinking of making to get there?
As for me... sorry, wall of text incoming!
I got a head start on a few of my resolutions last year. I had the generic ones, eat healthier, exercise more, and use social media less.
I've been mostly sedentary my whole life, and as a result I feel like I'm made of paper mache. So I picked up a few kettlebells and started a small 5-8 minute workout routine to do at the start of each hour when I'm home. Gets me out of my chair and helps reset and recenter myself.
Also my nutrition had fallen to pieces after I stopped living with my parents because instead of grocery shopping I would just skip meals and buy junk food at the gas station on my way home from work. Since most of our body's cells are replaced after 7 years, I reckon I'm mostly made of beef jerky, sour skittles and takis o.O
I recently began doing more regular grocery runs and incorporating healthier items into my diet like salads, fruit and yogurt (on top of my usual staples nuggets, potatoes and pizza rolls lol).
Combining these two gave me a lot more energy and strength, as I've been somewhat flimsy and lethargic these past few years. But I still have a lot of work to do on myself and I'm unsure how or where to start.
I need to start meditating and journaling again. I was doing it pretty consistently in 2018-2019 and I definitely felt like I had a clearer headspace and a more firm grasp on my life. The cable management in my brain is pretty bad, got synapses all messy and tangled. Too busy dissociating and distracting myself by ingesting media and, in the absence of a screen, aggressively daydreaming.
I tried to quit vaping thc, but after a decent first week a lot of things went wrong irl and I picked it back up. I'm meeting myself halfway by significantly reducing my usage though, and I'm gonna make another attempt when I'm ready.
I definitely need to start doing things again. I feel like I've stalled for a year or two now, and I'm finding it harder to focus and find motivation when working on games or music. I still feel like I want to make these things, but it feels so directionless and purposeless. I don't feel like I'm improving, and I don't have any larger objective in mind anymore since the odds of me making money or changing the universe for the better are laughable. I waste so much time worrying about wasting time, it's ridiculous.
Maybe this is a sign that I need to move in a different direction, push myself out of my comfort zone or something. A few bucket list items for 2024 include learning Unreal Engine 5 and attempting to draw/animate again, but I feel like I've lost the discipline and patience to sit down and teach myself.
I also think I need to find a social circle to engage with. I've grown more socially isolated since 2020, most of my friendships have either been severed or downgraded to acquaintanceships. Maybe it's my own fault for failing to maintain them, I don't reach out to people cause I feel like my presense and input is superfluous. I wonder if we just don't value other people anymore. Maybe that's another thing social media has eroded. Sometimes I feel like I'm becoming my dad, an intolerant grouch who doesn't have friends because I just can't stand people.
Yeesh sorry for the essay :P But it's the first time I really sat down and wrote it all out.
Hope you have a great year cd! Feel free to keep me in the loop regarding your journey!
Yupp. :) 10kg and I'd be pretty happy with my state of weight and all I think, more muscle/less fat in the process. So far I'm walking more, doing chores and cutting out chips and sugary stuff as much as possible. I gave away a bundle, too tempting to have at home. :) Just a better diet would probably be enough in the long run, but better exercise is the plan, I lift weights occasionally, and walk every day, but that's not enough, shall get a more regular regimen going there...
No worries about the text wall, I relate to a lot of this!
Sounds like a strong routine! So frequent. How heavy kettlebells right now? The great thing with that kind of exercise is that it helps burn fat too, in that additional muscle uses up additional fat, so the buffer you get the more you boost your metabolism at the same time. Caffeine does too but not enough...
Takis huh, not sure I've ever tried those... I probably have a better base diet, I just eat too much, main temptation's chips, crisps, anything fried or salty, there's just no end to how much I can consume of that stuff, especially when it's bleak and winter and I don't feel satisfied with the way life's going overall.
On the topic of journaling: I got myself a five year diary three years back, and it turns out that was just perfect for me. I had regular ones before but kept falling behind, with this one there's less room on each page, and it seems slimmed down enough that I can stick to the routine, plus when you have a spare moment it's fun to look back at previous years and see what you were up to then on the same day; see how you've potentially grown since. I tend to measure level of happiness in level of accomplishments, IOW events, so the more I have going on the happier I reckon I am... simple and not entirely accurate measuring stick but it's a small boost in sense of purpose and all.
Meditation yeah, that's huge too. On and off I've been trying to incorporate one of these as morning routine, they've helped a bit but I haven't managed to actually make them the routine I'd like to, eventually I find myself just feeling like I spend too much time on this when I could do something else:
https://youtu.be/0BNejY1e9ik
https://youtu.be/ltZLtiwF6MU
...though they definitely make me more focused; feel better. And like Hippocrates said some ~400 BC: If you don't feel well, take a walk. If you still don't feel well, take another.
As for social media I'm really only on NG so for me personally I'd like to get MORE active with the social media stuff. XD Figure that when I'm healthier I'll be more focused and productive here too; interact more than I am currently!
Oh man the media distraction thing. Yupp. Relate.
Dang man, seems like the main thing you need is a sense of purpose; new direction then. :/ Should make it easier to fulfill all the objectives above too. Though on the other hand if you're healthier maybe those come automatically. I've been lost and stagnant but... I think I'm moving again. External sources forced some momentum upon me with extra work, and it feels good to be productive, though I fear that when I get more time to spare once more I'll easily fall back on self-pity and destructive habits again... it's a bad cycle. All too easy to get into for no reason. But then again just directionlessly distracting yourself doesn't propel you onward either.
Hopefully though good physique is not just a prerequisite for feeling better and being more productive, but a catalyst for real change and confidence. So that first, and then...
Hope this year bodes well for both of us man! Seems you're going for it at least! Hope you muster up the willpower to manage; to do all that which you dream to; to dream and feel again and find something to strive towards fully!
You're a positive presence good dude, even when you post a wall like this it's like it's a wall that can be climbed over; that you're fighting to topple! Seems you might need a hit of that physique-boost confidence too huh. Maybe we're really in pretty similar states, though we indulge decay and stagnate in different ways. I've long feared becoming like my dad too, the eternal pessimist he's been, though he's older now, with age maybe the mindset feels merited, and so somehow I no longer feel I run that risk... we get along better now. I realize he really won't be here forever; that probably helps me appreciate his presence all the more. We've all such a limited span on time on this planet really. Older you get it seems the more finite it all appears. Best make the best possible use of all these years.
Keep me in the loop too if you'd like to. :) It's easier to run a marathon with company, this is like... good fuel. I realize I ought really formulate a better exercise plan right away too, no kettlebells here but I do have some weights, think I'll get started with some hourly full contact twists... they burn belly fat pretty well.
BottleTopBillFanclub
Thank you, I hope you had a good holiday season too, I'm going to try to make music.
Your Winter Woes song is super cool! The guitar part is awesome!